Sunday, October 10, 2010

Is it Monday Yet?

I can't remember the last time I was looking forward to a Monday ... but this, folks, is the day. I woke up this morning feeling great. I had a good night of sleep, woke up and took a great long walk with Oscar. Then, I decided that I would make Lucy's butternut squash soup. This is about when my day started going south.

I peeled and chopped one butternut squash, and then started in on the second. It was really hard to cut through, so I was kind of holding it at a weird (read: dumb) angle. And then, in a split second, I thought to myself "holding the squash like this is stupid and I'm going to cut myself." One millisecond later, I cut myself. Bad. Really really deep. I sliced right into the pad of my thumb. And it would NOT stop bleeding. It bled a lot. For awhile. I was talking to Matt on gchat, and he told me to superglue it. This scared me ... plus I couldn't find any superglue.

Eventually, Kyle and Rob came over to pick up this week's veggies (they were out of town) and I had them assess the situation. I ended up going back home with them so that Rob (or should I call him Dr. Rob?) could put some liquid bandage on my thumb and then he stuck a bandaid on. He thought it would be fine, but also exclaimed "wow, that's really deep!" when he was patching it up.

Seemingly all better, I headed back home to finish the soup. I peeled and chopped 3 squash, 2 apples, and 2 onions. Then I went to put it all together, when I realized I didn't have any broth. Aaaaargh. So I had to go to the store in the middle of all of this and get some damn broth.

I got home finished the soup (fiiiiiinally ... hours later) I noticed that the thumb was bleeding through the bandaid. Crap. I took off the bandaid and washed it out and WOWSERS it hurt. Bad. I put some more liquid bandage on and oh my gosh, I was in tears. I put another bandaid on and desperately started to google how to tell if you need stitches. I also asked my twitter pals, and a couple of you said I should go to the ER, stat. At this point it had been about 4-5 hours since I had cut myself ... and it was still bleeding. And it was right at this time that my garbage disposal started leaking all over the kitchen floor. Excellent!

Well, crap. I packed a snack and a book in my purse and headed to the hospital. I was there for two hours and, thankfully, luckily, did NOT need stitches. Instead, they used some of that fancy skin glue and now I should be good to go. So ... Matt was clearly right when he told me to just use superglue, but somehow I felt much better having medical professionals there to clean it out a few times and put actual skin glue instead of superglue. :)

SO. I came home, finally had a bowl of the damn soup (which was delicious, by the way) and called it a night.

And on that note, I am totally ready for this day to be over. So I will leave you with some funnies - yesterday I went to the Covered Bridge Festival in Middle-Of-Nowhere, Indiana. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but ... it surely wasn't the giant white trashfest that it turned out to be. Thankfully, I brought my camera, and documented several of the more perplexing sights.

1. Have you ever wanted to get a medical scooter, but were concerned about how your significant other would travel alongside you? Well, folks, wonder no longer! Simply attach an office chair, circa 1970, to some sturdy wheels and attach it to the back of the scooter. Voila! A scooter made for two.

2. Batman was there! Along with his girlfriend. My SIL and I spent quite a bit if time trying to figure out if she is Catwoman.
3. Ever wonder where Santa spends his offseason?

4. This is my BIL, David, and my nephew Cooper. Cooper is an infomercial junkie, and was concentrating very hard on a demonstration about how wearing a little magnetic bracelet can improve both your energy AND your balance.

5. Donut burger. I really don't have anything else to say about this, besides ... well, no. Nothing.

6. Well, finally! I have spent YEARS looking for a stuffed animal that is both cuddly AND microwaveable. Thank goodness!
I sent these photos to Matt, along with a detailed description of what a crazy shitshow this whole place was. His response: "I would never have believed there was a white trash fest in Indiana had it not been for the pictures! I am shocked! BTW, I guess I am going to have to cancel the order for our tandem scooter. Oh well. I try to do something nice for us and you always have to make fun of it."

Ha! Too much. Anyway, hope these made you giggle. And I hope that, for the most part, you had a better Sunday than I did! So today ... I will say, thank goodness it's almost Monday!


Anonymous said...

You did try the doughnut burger, right?! Maybe I'm white trash freaky sideshow, but I've been dying to try a krispy kreme burger, seriously!

I'm glad you're put together and the doctors didn't need to suture you! Take care of yourself today, get some R&R and catch up on...Teen Mom? Or does that make me even more white trashy? ;)


Jackie said...

oh no! glad you are on the road to recovery. my mom slices her fingers while cooking all the time and never goes to the ER and now her fingers are all scarred from poorly healed wounds. gross.

and those pics are HILARIOUS.

Lucy Marie said...

I am giggling and this isn't even the first time I've seen these photos. But seriously, your captions made them even better. I am not giggling about your near death experience while making soup, though. Also, you have NO room to mock the donut burger ... Mrs. Butter Burger.

d.a.r. said...

Oh my god. The captions completely made the photos 10,000 times funnier than the first time I saw them.

And poor finger :( It sounds like the deployment gremlins know that the end is near and had to get one last potshot at you!