Thursday, January 14, 2010

On Reproduction

My dear friend Lisa has been the first to point out lately how much I've been talking about babies. And it's true - it seems like babies are always on my mind. I'm blaming it on the fact that I have a huge amount of pregnant friends right now, along with several more who have just had their little ones. At first, I blamed my age (soon-to-be-28), but the more I thought about pregnant friends range in age from 23-37, so I guess I can't exactly blame the seemingly contagious pregnancies on my life stage. I don't know what it is,'s just that time for me. The time where everything yells "baby!" and "biological clock!" and "tick tick tick" or something like that. With my husband leaving for a year on Sunday, this is obviously not an ideal time to try and have a baby. So don't get your hopes up...this post does not end in a big surprise or anything like that. :)

I'm not sure how much I've touched on this, if any, but I'll go ahead and risk a little TMI to let you know that there's a good chance I am fertility-challenged. I have endometriosis, and as a treatment, my doctor has me taking round-the-clock birth control. I haven't had a period in almost two years (so I guess it's not all bad!). But guess what happens when you don't get a period? In my case...I constantly think that/wonder if I'm pregnant.

I know. Ridiculous, right? If there is a 3 day stretch where I'm tired, nauseous, and craving avocado sandwiches (yes, this really happened), I run to Kroger for a pregnancy test. It's a little ridiculous, and at this point I know that I'm completely neurotic about it. But as I always say to would I ever know, if I don't just take a test every once in awhile??! I'd hate to be on one of those terrible "I didn't know I was pregnant" shows. So embarrassing. I'm taking a pregnancy test tomorrow, JUST to make sure I'm not pregnant before Matt leaves. Because on the (.01%) chance I AM pregnant, I want to tell Matt before he leaves.


Anyway. Not having a period (which is, for most ladies, a tell-tale sign of NOT being pregnant) has led me to spend a lot of time Googling things. I don't know about you, but I prefer to Google things in the form of a question. Such as..."Is cramping an early sign of pregnancy?" Well let me just tell you something...searching for something along these lines is bound to provide you with HOURS of free entertainment.

Below is the number one most amazing pregnancy-related question/answer I have found on the internets, courtesy of (I think) Yahoo Answers. I seriously cannot stop laughing...every time I think about it again, I start giggling to myself. All I have to say is...sometimes, sarcasm is king.

Q: If I have sex when I'm pregnant, can my baby get pregnant too?
A: The baby can get pregnant only if it's a female. If you suspect that your baby is pregnant, try not to have sex again. You run the risk of getting your baby's baby pregnant and that can lead to complications like an infinite loop.


Jenn said...

ok seriously. if i snort ONE MORE TIME loudly at work, you officially have to come in and explain why. because people think i'm insane. i'm the type of person who would get stuck in that infinite loop. ;)


Lucky in Love said...

Okay, I too laughed out loud here at my desk...and someone is sitting here doing a test and they think I am nuts! Ha! Love it! Your baby getting pregnant?? What?? Who are these people?

Patience said...

I seriously lol when I read the last part. So good!

Preppy Pitbull said...

I am cracking up at work after reading that last part, too freaking funny. Doesn't it make you nervous that there are people out there that are THAT dumb? Yikes!

Brittany Ann said...

OH MY! Sadly, I've enjoyed Googling along the fertility path myself, and it is normally entertaining. But that? THAT IS TOO GOOD! Oh my!

On a more serious note, though, I've never thought about your situation, but realize you're totally right: I'd be taking tests right and left, just in case. I already do that, and I'm not on birth control!

We should buy stock in those things!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA WTF!!! Where did you FIND that? Seriously?!

But even more embarassingly, at the age of ten I was convinced that you could get pregnant with another baby if you had sex while pregnant with the first baby.

Now you know how special I am!

Kayla said...

Wow, are you kidding me?? Someone actually asked that question and someone answered it, just like that?? No.Way.

You know, I seriously think almost everyone is pregnant but me! Everywhere I go, I see pregnant women, I look up and there's a pregnant women on TV then I go to Target and some how end up going right by the baby stuff.... It's nuts! Don't worry, I'm obsessively taking tests too, because my period comes 4 or 5 weeks apart, so I never know! It drives me crazy! haha

I do enjoy the lovely entertainment of google from time to time too! :-)

Becky said...

HAHAHAHAHA - that is fantastic! I too am going through the "baby on the brain" time, so you're not alone!

Molly Lou Gifts said...

I think I laughed too loud at that. Just what I needed.

I know it isn't a good time, but it will be wonderful when you do have a baby. What great parents you will be!

Jennifer said...

Hahahaha that is too funny! I can't believe someone actually asked that!

AEOT said...

Oh my goodness. People are asinine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been thinking lots about you and Matt and I hope that more than anything you have a wonderful night together tonight. I'll be praying for a safe deployment and a happy home for him to come home to with LOTS of homemade bread! You're amazing girlie!!

Then, next year, you can take on these pregnancy posts :)

bianca said...

oh my gosh, who are these people?! Thank you so much for posting this, I needed something funny

Jackie said...

hahahhahaha that is hilarious!

Now that I am off the pill and since I still haven't had a normal cycle, I blow through pregnancy tests like it's my job. I need to buy them in bulk.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I literally laughed so hard and out loud at the question.

I think I'd be right there with you, I think I would wonder too every time I didn't start and run to get a test.

Lucy Marie said...