Friday, September 4, 2009

Football Thursday: Some Observations

***Check out my guest post on Jeans Friday today!!! Do you read Jeans Friday yet? If not, you should. Get your butt over there right away!***

Matt and I went to our first IU football game last night! Sidenote: who on earth schedules a college football game at 8pm on a weeknight? Are they trying to kill me?! Oh, right, I guess probably most everyone there was a STUDENT and didn't have to get up at the ass crack of dawn this morning to go to a work meeting at 7:30am.

*Ahem.* Sorry about that. I think I had something stuck in my throat.

We had a great time, and - shockingly - IU won 19-13 against Eastern Kentucky. Whoo hoo! During the game, I came to several realizations.

  • I am no longer 20 years old. Standing for hours in the student section was...difficult. I was tired. I was sore from working out. My butt hurt when I sat down on the hard seats. I felt wimpy.
  • It is hard cheering for a new football team when you have no idea what the cheers and traditions are. It took us awhile, but we finally figured out some of the cheers. I realized yesterday afternoon that I had no idea what the IU fight song was...and actually considered finding it on YouTube. Because I am that much of a nerd. But instead, I did some half-assed cleaning and watched Ellen. And then I forgot to check YouTube. Oops.
  • Being around thousands of super duper drunk kids is just not very fun when you are boringly old and sober.
  • IU is a basketball school.
  • I may or may not have spent much of the first quarter figuring out which team on the field was IU. Both teams wore the same colors. It was embarrassing, so I didn't ask Matt.
  • I may or may not have stopped paying attention to the game after the first quarter. Also embarrassing. I didn't tell Matt, and instead just zoned out and cheered/clapped when appropriate.
  • I may or may not have spent quarters two through four eavesdropping on everyone surrounding us.
  • Note to self: Do not go to a football game in flip-flops after wearing high heels all day. Ouchers.
That being said, I have a few open letters to get off my chest.
  • To the girl stumbling down the stadium steps in the tiniest white cotton miniskirt I have ever seen: Please consider wearing a thong next time. Your white granny panties were clearly visible to me, and everyone surrounding me, and probably everyone within one mile of you.
  • To all sorority girls wearing leggings with their IU t-shirts and Gucci wristlets: You all look the same. Give it up. You are too boring for words.
  • To the drunk guy who almost fell down the stairs of the stadium while I was coming up the stairs after buying a bottle of water: Easy, killer. You shoved me into the railing and it really hurt. I'm pretty sure I have a bruise now.
  • To the drunk guy who sat in front of us during halftime and was so far gone that he couldn't sit up by himself, and instead leaned back on Matt's knees for the entirety of the marching band show while bragging to us that he had 15 shots while tailgating: 15 shots is a lot of alcohol. I hope you are still alive.
  • To all the drunk people enjoying piggy back rides up and down the stadium steps: This is dangerous. I saw 100% of you fall. It looked like it hurt. I recommend wearing a helmet in order to avoid a possible traumatic brain injury.
  • To the football-y show-off guy behind us trying to impress a girl: You're not fooling me, buddy. I know that Bill Lynch is a better coach than you would be. So stop freaking yelling that you should be the IU coach. You also didn't fool me when you started yelling that you'd like to bring back Bobby Knight. You are 18. You were 9 when Bobby Knight was fired from IU. I was in college. Enough said. Oh, and did I mention that IU is a basketball school? Clearly. Because Bobby Knight was the basketball coach.
  • To the girl behind us who was shamelessly flirting with said football-y show-off guy: Please, for the love of god, stop asking football-y guy to explain the entire game of football to you. He will sleep with you no matter what.
  • To the group of guys next to us who spent most of the game trying to identify the cheerleader they know: Who freaking cares?
  • To the guy who spent literally the entire game on his cell phone, with his back to the field, trying to find his friend: I recommend that next time, you meet up ahead of time, outside the stadium. That way, you won't annoy the crap out of, well, me, by yelling "I'M RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE F*#%ING STEPS!!! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE ME? NO, I CAN'T SEE YOU! YOU'RE TOO F*@#ING SHORT!!!! THROW SOMETHING IN THE AIR. THROW SOMETHING IN THE AIR SO THAT I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!!!!! NO, I CAN'T F#*$ING SEE YOU!!!! CAN YOU SEE ME? I'M RIGHT HERE!!!! AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STEPS!!! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE ME???!!!"
  • To the "cop" wandering through the student section, looking for problems: I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to get your cell phone out every 2 minutes and text your buddies. Right? Or are you? I guess I really don't know about this one...but what I do know is that if you continue to chew gum that violently, you're going to give yourself TMJ.
Well, I guess that's about it. I would like to add that I saw a guy wearing a great t-shirt. It said:

Indiana University
School of ... Ummm, General Studies, I Guess

That made me laugh for a good 10 minutes. Seriously. What, I was tired. Give me a break.

Near the end of the game, I started getting an overwhelming craving for post-game pizza. So, at 11:30pm, we went to Motherbear's and split a tiny little 6 inch pizza. Delish! We got home at around 12-12:30 and went to bed immediately. Sadly, I had to be at work early this morning for a meeting, and I had to get up just after 5:30am. I'm pretty sure a nap is in order. Our friends Jenn and Ryan are coming into town for the long weekend, so somehow I'll have to nap AND clean all in the span of a few post-work hours. Wish me luck!


Ms. Attitude said...

LMAO!!! I have had way too many instances like this! I feel better now after reading this.

Taryn said...

You are so funny- I am so looking forward to our first game this sunday now . . . I know what you mean about being tired after standing for 4 hours and being TIRED! Plus we have to talk about 3 miles round trip from our car to stadium. Going to college games is not for wimps. = ) You are not a wimp.

Rachel said...

Oh this made me laugh.. it's so true.

JennySchu. said...

I almost fell out of my chair at work laughing. That would be a giveaway that I'm wasting time that I should be filing. Thank you for your insights, this is why I'm hitching a ride to Wisconsin and skipping the game for wine with old co-workers.

Lucky in Love said...

This post cracked me up! First I can't believe you were such a traitor and went to an IU game. Un-freaking-real when you now have a friend who went to Purdue. And they won?? And you were cheering? Garbage...

Did you know the IU fight song is my high school's song? Yeah. And we definitely watched it on YouTube like two weeks ago so I could prove it to Matt. So if you are a dork for wanting to watch it on YouTube, what does that make me for actually doing it??

Hope you have a great weekend with your friends in town!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

You're open letters cracked me up!!!

Brittany Ann said...

LOL! I love this post! I live in a huge football college town, too, and this was exactly what I experience! The leggings, the Gucci bracelet, the drunken ridiculousness! Love it! (Football games are totally where I people watch, too.)

Anonymous said...

LOL!! I loved, loved, loved this post! Whenever I head to the PSU area, I always feel like smacking the girls upside the head because they are all flat-ironed hair, long hair, AE jeans, Ugg boots, PSU teeshirts, Coach wristlets, Gucci sunglasses, boring and uniform. Not unique. Blah!

Just Anonymous Prep said...

Hehe I understand and I didn't even go to a big sports school. I'm with you 100% about the shoes and the standing for hours on end. This post is too funny!

Jenn said...

this is great. whenever we go to football games at the university of wisconsin, i realize the same things. i'm far too old to be there :) glad you survived and i'll remember that piggybacking is a BAD idea up and down the steps ;)