Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Running, Self-Esteem, Medication, and...an oops.

I can't lie...I was on fire yesterday. First, getting up early for pre-work pilates. And then, going running yesterday afternoon (2.75 miles!) in the hot heat. And I ran it in 29:50! I was so proud of myself! Especially since last week I took about 28 minutes to run 2.35. I am starting to get a little faster! The run was extra hard because:

1. I hadn't had a "long" run since Friday, the 17th, and
2. Mr. Smith ran earlier in the day, meaning I would be running by myself without any help with pacing.

I suck at pacing...I find it really hard. I also have some issues with...self-esteem? I'm not exactly sure how to categorize it, but...I think that I usually look stupid when I'm running. I go really slow, and I always feel awkward. And I usually feel much more natural and un-awkward when I run with Mr. Smith.

What is that all about??? This is such a woman thing. Who cares what I look like when I'm running? Umm...apparently, I do. Anyone else have this experience? It totally bums me out. My biggest challenge when running is the mental aspect rather than the physical. I often psych myself out and don't think I can do it. Yesterday, I planned on running 3 miles...but without Mr. Smith to push me, I only ran 2.75. And granted, that was fine, but still...I would have run 3 if I wasn't alone. Help me out with this one, will ya? :)

Anyway...I had slathered on the sunscreen before my run (I am the whitest person ever and don't leave the house without my SPF 30), but apparently did not let it sink into my skin enough. It felt like it was about 20583 degrees yesterday (in reality, it was only in the low 80s, but very sunny and humid!) and when I finished my run, I was covered in a sweaty-sunscreen layer. It was AWESOME. Seriously. Not.

Later in the evening, I felt like I was getting a headache. I took my headache pill AND a new anti-nausea med that my new neurologist prescribed last week. I vaguely remember her telling me that the new med could "knock me out cold"...and, wow. I passed out before 10:00 - I could barely keep my eyes open. I felt so drugged up that I could not force my eyes open before 8:00 this morning (aside: I usually get to work at 7:30).

My "oops," of course, was that I didn't work out this morning like I was planning. I had laid my workout clothes out in the living room, and I had put in my 30 Day Shred dvd last night so as to not waste any precious morning time. Oops. Oh well. I hope to get my Shred in this afternoon/evening sometime, fingers crossed.

One positive: I never got a full-fledged migraine last night, AND I am totally sore from the pilates. Score!

9 comments:

brown eyed girl said...

You go girl! That's awesome!

I'm the same way with running. I ran on the track last summer with Dimples and always felt like I looked like the fat, awkward, asthmatic kid trying to run. I don't know how else to explain it, but it's a 'self-esteem' thing to me!

katie said...

umm yeah... after 2 knee surgeries, I run like a moron. Don't feel bad at all!

kilax said...

It is NOT just a woman thing. My husband totally struggles with that when he runs. He worries about what he is wearing, who is watching him, etc. It doesn't bother me at all, I know people are going to notice me, because I am a runner, and I notice runners. When I see them though, I feel inspired. Just focus on how you feel! I don't think people are going to drive by and laugh at you. They are just jealous they aren't out there running too. What would YOU think if you saw you running? Or someone else?

I got a huge smile on my face when I read about yesterday's awesome workout! You WILL get the Shred in today.

I am happy you never got a migraine.

Casey said...

Oh! What is phenergen you took? That stuff is the best. Knocks you out cold. Then you can't help but feel better!

Aunt of 14 said...

I too get migraines. I found that it is all about trying to catch it in time... before it blows up. Most times I get lucky, but not always.

About running-- heck, if you can even run thats a big kudos to you! I cannot even. Nope. Weak ankles and I already broke my ankle once. And I have a rather large package in my upper front region... which could give me two black eyes when I run or jog. Yeah.

Lucky in Love said...

I totally feel the same way about running. It's mental for me. The whole time I'm thinking about if I look stupid running and if people can tell how slow I am going....and thinking of how much of a fat cow I look like seeing as it is hard for me to breath whilst hardly moving :)

Oh well...at least we're doing something! I'm so proud of how much you are running and the fact that you are getting faster!

Erin said...

That's the reason I won't run outside. I know I should, but I just can't handle people watching me when I feel it's SO obvious that I'm not a "runner". The treadmill doesn't offer quite the same workout, but I don't care at this point. It's still exercise, right?

Playful Professional said...

My mental game for running is to listen to my music and count down by the songs rather than by the mileage or time. I'll start out thinking I have to run 10 songs and then just count down. It's so much easier for me than thinking oh I have half a mile left to go. For some reason I can always go one more song, especially if it's a good song.

Jenn said...

wow - look at you go. i'm so impressed with you and glad that you were able to stop the evil migraines! :)